How to Deal with People Who Speak Badly About You to Your Face
How to Deal with People Who Speak Badly About You to Your Face.
Life as it is, the reality is that most of the time people’s thoughts are not in your favor, especially those close to you. If you look closely, conflicts are never with strangers; they are always with your own people. So, how do you deal with such a situation where even your closest ones speak ill of you, knowingly or unknowingly, demotivate you, or hurt you in any way? Because you can’t say anything back to them since it’s not appropriate, but they can say anything to you.
This happens a lot, especially in a middle-class family during teenage years. It happens with me personally. Even in my family, strangers have more faith in me than my own parents. My relatives believe in me, but my parents, especially my mom, don’t. They can say anything to me, demotivate me, or say anything to my face, but I can’t respond. So how do we deal with this problem? We need to find a solution without escalating the problem. If we react angrily, it will only create more issues instead of solving them.
Firstly, understand that whether it’s a friend or a family member, what they think or say about you, whether good or bad, is their own problem. You cannot control someone else’s thoughts or words. So why waste your focus and energy on what you cannot control? Instead, focus your energy on yourself and your actions.
If you stop reading into what others say about you, and concentrate only on your work, that’s wisdom. If you can clearly see that you cannot control someone else’s thoughts, then divert your attention back to yourself. Start telling yourself that it doesn’t matter. And it actually shouldn’t. Words are just words; they cannot harm you unless you let them.
Always remember, if someone praises you, don’t let it inflate your ego. And if someone criticizes you, don’t let it depress you. Do not give others that much power over you. You should have 100% control over yourself. Also, learn to forgive because people say what they are capable of saying based on their own thinking.
If we get angry and question why they said something to us, we won’t be able to live happily. Happiness is also a factor that needs to be maintained in life. So, it’s important to forgive and move on. Accept that people will say what they can, and leave the concept of good and bad behind. Focus on what you can control and work on yourself.
When such a situation occurs, and you can’t do anything at that moment, keep reminding yourself that you cannot control others’ words, but you can control your actions. Focus on how you can improve yourself rather than why someone said something to you. Adopt a bit of stoicism—focus more on what is in your control and let go of what isn’t.